I'm submitting a formal complaint to the players - the games are far too interesting. They should be rationed to only one exciting game per round, as it is not fair to chess journalists. - (after Round 2 of The London Chess Classic 2011) - John Saunders
Some scientist needs to explain to spectators Einstein's relativity theory. Before his explanation, he says: 'I have to suffer a lot explaining something I don't understand myself.' This relates to my game: I didn't understand anything! (on losing to Magnus Carlsen at the 2011 Sao Paolo/Bilbao tournament) - Vasily Ivanchuk
I walked about 55 kilometers and was awake for 25 hours. Now I have to think about setting a sleeping record. - (after setting a World Record by playing 614 games simultaneously) - Ehsan Ghaem-Maghami
Remember the king cannot check. So in a mad rush to checkmate your opponent do not get mated because that way you would have indirectly blocked your emergency exit also. - (from what may very well be the worst chess book in history) - All About Chess, by Priya & R. Raman, Minerva Press, New Delhi, 2000
Youth has triumphed. - (upon defeating 86-year-old Dirk van Foreest) - 84-year-old Jacques Mieses
The knight has a very peculiar movement. He moves to the third square distant, in an oblique direction, first through the adjoining square either way, and then to the next adjoining square either way again, entering into the one diagonally, and into the other sideways, and his move is always onto a square of a different colour from that which he previously occupied. - (from: Chess & Draughts Made Easy c 1860)
Barcza is the most versatile player in the opening. He sometimes plays P-KKt3 on the first, sometimes on the second, sometimes on the third, and sometimes only on the fourth move. - reputedly stated by Harry Golombek
Begone! Ignorant and impudent knight, not even in chess can a King be taken. - (reputedly stated to one of his knights in 1110 after he was nearly captured by enemy forces) - King Louis VI
When asked, "How is that you pick better moves than your opponents?", I responded: "I'm very glad you asked that, because, as it happens, there is a very simple answer. I think up my own moves, and I make my opponent think up his". - Alexander Alekhine
A chess player never has a heart attack in a good position. - Bent Larsen
My opponent is Short and the match will be short. - Kasparov's quip before his 1993 PCA World Championship match with Nigel Short.
When I have White, I win because I am White; when I have Black, I win because I am Bogolyubov. - Efim Bogolyubov
We don't really know how the game was invented, though there are suspicions. As soon as we discover the culprits, we'll let you know. - Bruce Pandolfini
The most powerful weapon in chess is to have the next move. - David Bronstein
There just isn't enough televised chess. - David Letterman
It has been said that man is distinguished from animal in that he buys more books than he can read. I should like to suggest that the inclusion of a few chess books would help to make the distinction unmistakable. - Edward Lasker
In mathematics, if I find a new approach to a problem, another mathematician might claim that he has a better, more elegant solution. In chess, if anybody claims he is better than I, I can checkmate him. - Emanuel Lasker
A computer beat me in chess, but it was no match when it came to kickboxing. - Emo Phillips
Deschapelles became a first-rate player in three days, at the age of something like thirty. Nobody ever believed the statement, not even Deschapelles himself, although his biographer declares he had told the lie so often that he at last forgot the facts of the case. - Frederick Milne Edge
A male scorpion is stabbed to death after mating. In chess, the powerful queen often does the same to the king without giving him the satisfaction of a lover. - Gregor Piatigorsky
My opponent left a glass of whisky 'en prise' and I took it 'en passant'. - Henry Blackburne
When you absolutely don't know what to do anymore, it is time to panic. - John van der Wiel
Excellent! I will still be in time for the ballet! - (upon defeating Ossip Bernstein in the famous 29 move exhibition game played in Moscow in 1914, before setting off to the Bolshoi Theatre in horse-drawn carriage) - Jose Capablanca
I played like a child. (13 year old Magnus after a loss in the second game of a rapid chess match with Kasparov - after having drawn the first game) - Magnus Carlsen
I won't play with you anymore. You have insulted my friend! - (when an opponent cursed himself for a blunder) - Miguel Najdorf
Nowadays tournaments are for nurseries. Look at those kiddies. - (pointing to Fischer, Spassky, and Larsen in 1966) - Miguel Najdorf
It will be cheering to know that many people are skillful chessplayers, though in many instances their brains, in a general way, compare unfavorably with the cognitive faculties of a rabbit. - Mortimer
If one would cancel all traffic rules and switch off all traffic lights, watching city traffic on TV would be also awfully interesting! - Oleg Romanishin
Campo, as everyone in chess recognized, had a 2600 rating as a politician. - (on F.I.D.E. President Florencio Campomanes) - Raymond Keene
My style is somewhere between that of Tal and Petrosian. - Samuel Reshevsky
Chess is thriving. There are ever less round robin tournaments and ever more World Champions. - Robert Huebner
Now I have the pawn and the compensation. - (during a blitz game) - Roman Dzindzichashvili
A Chess game is divided into three stages: the first, when you hope you have the advantage, the second when you believe that you have an advantage, and the third … when you know you're going to lose ! - Savielly Tartakower
Shall we ever live to see the following wise prohibition - the audience is forbidden to smoke and the masters are forbidden to 'smoke out' the audience by playing exchanging variations? - Savielly Tartakower
Up to this point White has been following well-known analysis. But now he makes a fatal error: he begins to use his own head. - Siegbert Tarrasch
When you don't know what to play, wait for an idea to come into your opponent's mind. You may be sure that idea will be wrong. - Siegbert Tarrasch
Once when Blackburne was giving a simultaneous exhibition, his opponent had ordered and just been served a glass of whisky. Instead of making his move, Blackburne drank the whiskey and went on to the next board. How I would have loved to have known him personally! - Tony Santasiere
In 1996, the players at the VSB tournament in Amsterdam sent me a card for my wedding with this dedication, 'Anand congrats on your wedding. You were a great player, now be ready to lose 50 points'. - Viswanathan Anand
Once I asked Teichman what he thought of Bird's chess: "Same as his health," he replied, "always alternating between being dangerously ill and dangerously well." - William Ewart Napier
Of Chess it has been said that life is not long enough for it, but that is the fault of life, not chess. - William Ewart Napier
But alas! Like many another consummation devoutly to be wished, the actual performance was a disappointing one. (on the long awaited Lasker-Capablanca match in 1921) - Fred Reinfeld
The pin is mightier than the sword. - Fred Reinfeld
What we need are lots of girls who aren't as good as us, who'll treat us with the proper respect and reverance. - David Norwood
Place the contents of the Chess box in a hat, shake them up vigorously, pour them on the board from a height of two feet, and you get the style of Steinitz. - Henry Bird